Economic Crisis

A husband working abroad wrote to his wife...

Dear Sweetheart,

I can't send my salary this month the global market crises has affected me, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart.

Your loving husband, B

 

His wife replied...

Sweetheart Dearest,

Thanks for the 100 kisses, below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses...

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

2. The electricity man agreed not to disconnect us only after 7 kisses.

3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the*//*rent

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items hope you understand.

5. Other expenses 40 kisses.

Please don't worry about me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance... Shall I plan the same for next month? Please Advice!!!

Your Sweet Heart,

HOME INTERNAL MEMO

FROM :        FATHER

TO :        ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES

CC :         MOTHER

 

Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.

2.  Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

3.  Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted.  Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician's report.

4.  Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered.  No lawns or flowers shall receive water.  For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

5.  Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

6.  All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.

7.  No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8.  No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the house.

9.  Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment   somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town head
, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes.  Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

 

      THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!

 

Signed: DAD

Chairman of Home Affairs

 

{ Thanks Fati J }