Some of my favorite quotes

“If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in character. If there be beauty in character, there will be harmony in the home. If there be harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation. If there be order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.” - Confucius

“Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.” - Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer

“Democracy, like liberty, justice and other social and political rights are not given. They are earned through courage, resolution and sacrifice.” - Aung San Suu Kyi, Burma

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'” – Anonymous



Sunday, March 27, 2011

Submission in Marriage

I was chatting with a group of ladies on the issue of a woman's submissiveness in the institution of marriage. Below are some of the comments I made:

If a woman doesn't get this right before entering the marriage, e go hard o... My Dad always told me to be sure of the mate I would be settling with because by agreeing to make a man my husband, I was indirectly telling God to appoint the man as my leader, to become my father, brother, etc... So I had better make sure the man is worthy of that role, and my submission, before making the plunge.Once one makes the commitment, the submission becomes a requirement o... My understanding of submission is acknowledging who has the final say / word... A woman submitting to her husband means, in the event she is not able to convince her husby / man of an alternate course of action, she has to agree with the course he chooses.Which is where trust comes in... It's almost impossible to submissive, if you don't trust the person you're submitting to. But in being submissive, you still have a voice, you still have to make contributions. We are submissive to our bosses @ work on a daily - we make our contributions, he / she (boss) may roll with it or not, we no go vex na... We'll go ahead and implement whatever their final decision is, and maybe learn a thing or 2 from that. If we can give that to our bosses each day, our husbands deserve no less... We are not / should not be in competition with them... Let's do our bit, and we will very likely get the reward. God has tipped the balance so, anyone got an issue with that should take it up with Him :).

10 comments:

Beverly L Carter said...

Why is there a submission? They want to lead but can't lead them self.The only submission is to God. Man has to earn it.

lamikayty said...

Interesting and true thoughts Mama Bash. I agree with you entirely. Submission is not as 'bad' a word as many view it and like you say if you can submit to a boss , y not your hubby!
Makes absolute sense and 'common' sense too. It makes for peace too cos there cannot be 2 people inside one 'sokoto' abi!

Latha vijayakumar said...

Very true

shahanara said...

Amazing stories.........

Native Truth Journeys said...

Pleasantly surprised to find someone correctly representing the headship arrangement. It makes perfect sense. There is only one CEO of a company. Too many women misunderstand submission as being made a slave or servant, it's not. A woman is a complement to her husband. Together they contribute to the family, and should be discussing things. However, in the end, when there is a disagreement, a decision needs to be made and he needs to make it. We then support and do what we can for his decision to be a success... and if it's not, the hope would be he may have a different perspective next time. The flip side is that the man is told to disown his desires and to put his wife first, so a truly loving man will be balanced and easy to submit to and in turn be loved by.

BirdieGirl said...

I belive what you are saying to be the truth. And, before God, do my best to honor him by being submissive to my husband. God always blesses my efforts in this. My husband, accepting the burden of making a dificult "final"decision, takes my input very seriously, and we usually have an outcome that I am (at the very least) somewhat pleased with.

Jimmy said...

True That.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful! I love the way you write, with such charm you highlight the true emancipation of women. Competition ruins a relationship, and it is a gift to have someone there to look after your interests. Leadership is needed in any setting without which we fall into useless bickering.

I was also wondering if you could give me some feedback on my blog posts at http://www.mindstreamofajaywalker.blogspot.com/ but only if you have the time to. It would mean a lot to me to be able to write like you. Thanks so much!

Levonne said...

Submission is ongoing in life but one needs to know when the line is crossed into being harmful or detrimentally untrue to one's self. Nobody is worth a lifetime of that.

Aaliyah said...

I agree submission does not mean that we give up our rights. We can still voice our opinions and make important decisions. Western society makes submission look bad but nothing is wrong with it.