Harsh Evaluations

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation or appraisal - just remember it could be worse.

The quotes below are supposedly from the USA Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluation Records; enjoy.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

13. "I would like to go hunting with him some time."

14. "He's been working with glue too much."

15. "He would argue with a singpost."

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

20. "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

23. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."


!!!OUCH!!!